Well, Emily and I finished the Bronx 10 Miler. Finished is all I want to say about the race. It was quite boring, and about 3 miles in, I wanted someone to Tonya Harding me. I hoped that my husband had hired a man to club me in the knee so I wouldn’t have to continue. Unfortunately, he didn’t. The next 7 miles I only kept going because Emily promised we’d go to brunch and I could eat fried food, and because I didn’t want to let Emily down.
While struggling, I realized that struggle is something I very rarely do. If I don’t do well in something, I give up. Take ice- skating for instance. I tried it once when I was in 6th grade. While on the ice, I immediately felt all of my weight and awkwardness intensified. I felt so out of place. When I fell, I tried to get up using my hands, leading to a major bleeding slice in my hand, which came as a relief that I had an excuse to go sit on the sidelines! After that, I never tried again until my husband made me go to outdoor skating in Bryant Park a few months into our relationship. Although I was lighter at that time and being supported by someone who was willing to sort of cart me around on the ice, I felt all of 6th grade insecurities and started freaking out on the ice at Bryant Park while toddlers gave me sideways glances as they scooted around. I am not one to try and prevailed using inner strength.
That’s why this race was important, to see that sometimes, things can be okay, even if they don’t go “my way”. I took the learning experience and am now ready to return to training and try to get a bit better at suffering, and dealing with the struggle. Because running, and that feeling a great run can have, is too good to give up on. I want that feeling back again. (Cue sappy music, I know, I know)
Emily and I will be running a 10 miler in January. We want to train and be our best for the race, not for time, but because at the end of the race is free beer and we want to be able to really take advantage of it without feeling terrible. Priorities people!